Since we have entered the hallowed month of October, where all things evil, vile and fearful reside, I have decided to dedicate the next 24 days to all things that scare the shit out of me. There isnt much, so the last few days, I might be reaching, but alas....Here is post #1 ....No...the shitty jokes dont count...although I am fearful of them, they're definitely not in my top 10.
Fear #1 - Possession by Satan (aka, "you're fucked")
My fear of the devil stems from my Catholicism and shitty parenting. I am Catholic (what what..raise the roof! Hells roof that is! BOO-YA!) and I plan to teach my daughter the teachings of Catholicism, along with other religions. Right now I cant get her to understand why shitting in your pants is bad...So, we'll save the less intellectual talk for later.
BUT, my mother and grandmother put the fear of the devil into me at a very young age. I remember when I first learned about hell and how I had to be good or I would soon have a trident up my ass. I was probably about Juliets age. And I would NEVER...EVER..EVER...tell her these stories at her young precarious age! I cried myself to sleep on a green towel, (I vividly remember this) because my mom basically told me I was bad and hell was in my future. Dont even get me started on how she wrote me a letter from Santa and told me I wasnt getting shit for christmas!
Still fearful of Satan, I watched the Exorcist for the 1st time, around 15 years old. Scared the shit out of me, obviously. When I turned 18, I figured in my polluted immature mind "I am now an adult. I can watch adult movies. I am fearless. I can vote"
No.
That is, and will be, the last time I ever see that movie. I am now 42 years old and I still refuse to sit up on my bed with my legs extended because I remember Priest Damians elderly mother sitting in that position crying "Demi???....Is that you Demi??? Help me Demi" when it was the devil in disguise!
If I know the Exorcist is on television on any given night, I will delete that channel from my list, because I dont want to be flipping channels between "the next Iron chef" and "Sell my house"...and find Linda Blair with whip marks across her face and a crucifix in her ho-ho!
Amityville Horror. Another one. My brother and I slept together on bar stools one night, I was about 15 and he was 10, after watching that movie. (Where was Mom and Dad? adding to my bad parenting bit)....My older sister Charlene and I still freak out when we wake up at 3:33 in the morning. If there is a red glare in the window at night, it has to be Satan's pig mafia. If there is more than one fly in the house, I am about to meet my demise.
So.....Rolling in at #1....DEMONIC POSSESSION!!! I'm going to go rock myself in the corner now and turn on the veladoras....
P.S....posting this picture required me scourging through several pics from the movie. I'm going to church now...
I chose the lamest of the bunch, because I didnt want Satan in my blog....Just covering my bases.
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